Day 207: Flavor-Trippin’

originally published July 25, 2012 Are you tired of eating stuff that tastes like the stuff you’re eating? Who isn’t? Nature has provided us with a rich and elaborate spectrum of flavors, ranging from the soul-absorbing umami-sweet of Mr. Cecil’s succulent ribs on Pico Blvd in West L.A. to the What-The-Sweet-Unholy-Crap-Is-In-My-Mouth??? of Brussels sprouts. Some […]

Day 197: A Late-Night Infomercial For The Sexiest Flower Shop Ever

originally published July 15, 2012 Hey boys. Are you feeling lonely tonight? Maybe I can help. Are you single? Alone? Not sure how to get that special lady in your life to succumb to your fantasies and keep you warm at night? I know what you need. I can turn those nights from warm to […]

Day 192: Dog O’ War – Sgt. Stubby Saves The Day

originally published July 10, 2012 I was never cut out to be in the army. I’m not good at following orders, I hate running in formation, and khaki makes my calves look fat. Also, I’m too easily intimidated by unbesmirchable heroes of other species. I’m talking about heroes like Sergeant Stubby. Stubby was a Staffordshire […]

Day 120: The Bog Turtle, As Taught By A Biology Teacher Who Recently Learned That His Girlfriend Has Been Cheating On Him

originally published April 29, 2012 Everybody here? No? I don’t care, we’re starting this lecture. Today we’re talking about the bog turtle. On our field trip to the Bronx Zoo last week we saw these little things, remember? Remember those little bastards just sitting beside those stupid little rocks like they didn’t have a care […]

Day 67: The Imp Of The Perverse – From Poe To Freud To Cheap Drugs

originally published March 7, 2012 So you’re looking for an excuse for why your life is the way it is. You’ve made sketchy choices, unconscionable decisions, slept with partners of questionable ethics and species. That’s okay, you’re not alone. As with any E-Z diagnosis (especially one on the internet, especially-especially one from this site), you […]

Day 51: The Bird Controversies

originally published February 20, 2012 Earlier this week, in digging through the muck of the Texas Education system’s commitment to the doctrine of creationism, I generated some controversy – not here, but in between someone’s Mafia Wars request and a ‘Which Salad Dressing Are You?’ quiz on my Facebook page. Today I spit in the […]