Day 621: Back To The Playground

originally published September 12, 2013 I am no stranger to nostalgia, which I define as the patently false illusion that there was ever a time in one’s life before everything was mucked up beyond recognition. I lived in the same house for my entire childhood, and I’ll admit to feeling somewhat flattened by the bombardment […]

Day 620: This Court Is Now In Session… Now Kick Some Ass!

originally published September 11, 2013 When I was young, there were no sassy, quick-witted judges on TV dispensing justice with a scalding tongue, a brash and almost audible fart of morality, and a slick delivery that prompts the gallery to explode in high-fives. We had no Judge Judy, we had no Judge Joe Brown. Sure, […]

Day 619: Cornhole – Play It Where The Sun Shines

originally published September 10, 2013 Good news, everyone! Winter isn’t here! There’s still time to get out there in the glorious sunny weather, down a few drinks and throw something in your cornhole. Did that sound dirty? Surely there was no way I’d write 618 consecutive days’ worth of clean, family-friendly comedy appropriate for reading […]

Day 618: The Immaculate Conceptions, Part 2 – The Independents

originally published September 9, 2013 In an effort to make this weekend’s topic of automobiles more relatable to a lifelong non-car-guy like myself, I’m going to draw a simplistic parallel to the world of movies. The majority of what the big auto-makers put out are akin to the majority of big-studio movies that populate our […]

Day 617: Immaculate Conceptions, Part 1

originally published September 8, 2013 One of the topics I almost never sprinkle my words upon is cars. Sure, I’ll admit to an ethereal arousal at the curves of a ’65 Corvette, and I melted into my seat a little the first time I experienced a back-up camera. But I’m not a car guy. When […]

Day 616: Top Floor – Ladies’ Wear, Shoes, And The Cold Dark Void Of Space

originally published September 7, 2013 A scientist looks at a problem and asks, “How?” A skeptic looks at a problem and asks, “Why?” A caribou looks at a problem and just keeps on moseying along because a caribou has no damn problems. When faced with the dilemma of constructing a viable and dependable space elevator, […]

Day 615: Shooting Behind The Mouse’s Back

originally published September 6, 2013 I really don’t normally do this. Regular readers of this site (as well as those who regularly have it read to them – it’s perfect for putting the little ones to sleep!) know that I love to talk movies. Whether it’s awful movies, classic films, cinematic history, or even an […]

Day 614: Are You Ready For Some (Controversial) Football?

originally published September 5, 2013 There are 214 days between February 3 and September 5. This represents the passage of time between Super Bowl XLVII and tonight, the opening kickoff of the 2013 NFL season. For those of us who only feign a passing interest in other sports, who know that special splash of cold […]

Day 613: The Bullocky Stench Of The Temporal Jet-Set

originally published September 4, 2013 Here’s a thought. If Marty McFly had set the time circuits on the DeLorean to show up fifteen minutes early instead of ten when he returned to 1985, he might have thwarted the Libyan terrorists before they’d shot Doc Brown, leaving two Martys in the parking lot and an irreconcilable […]

Day 612: Big Brother Wants You To Come To The Principal’s Office

originally published September 3, 2013 On the morning of November 11, 2009, Blake Robbins, a high school sophomore at Harriton High in the suburbs of Philadelphia, was called in to the vice-principal’s office. This is never something good – no one gets called in to the vice-principal’s office for a complimentary brownie or to play […]