Day 395: The World’s Pushiest Molybdenum Salesman

originally published January 29, 2013

Whether you’re a weekend hobbyist looking to forge your own stainless steel in your backyard foundry, or a professional seeking to cut down on your tungsten usage, you’ll want to head down to Mad Mel’s Molyb Den today and check out our deals!

Mad Mel’s is your one-stop molybdenum superstore, specializing in pure molybdenum, ferromolybdenum, molybdenum oxide, and elemental variations you’ve never heard of. Let us blow your mind! Mad Mel’s Molyb Den: where your favorite transition metal transitions into great savings!

Are you looking for compounds? Raw minerals? Mad Mel has scoured the inside of the globe so he can offer only the finest in super-niobium, sub-technetium element-astic products for all your molybdenum needs. Just look at these electrons sizzling with excitement!

(Mo’ ‘bdenum, Mo’ Bargains!)

We keep regular stock of all six (6!) molybdenum chlorides, and offer surprisingly low rates on a hefty selection of imported quadruple bonds. You’ll never settle for chromium again! There are 35 known isotopes of molybdenum – you can pick up a gross of molybdenum-98 at your local Costco… but where else will you find premium molybdenum-92, direct from Switzerland, with a certificate of authenticity signed by Dr. Florian Hjelm, a direct descendant of Peter Jacob Hjelm, the man who first isolated the element in 1781? Only at Mad Mel’s! Quantities are limited, so act now!

For the month of February we are featuring a special display, on loan from Mad Mel’s cousin’s shop in Livermore, California: a sample of genuine ruthenium-100 that has double beta decayed its way from once being a fine specimen of molybdenum-100. Bring your kids! Also, bring your kids’ radiation suits because you may want to have grandkids someday.

Molybdenum may be the 54th most abundant element in the earth’s crust, but connoisseurs of Mad Mel’s merchandise find it to be the 2nd most beneficial element to enrich our lives. The first? Why, love of course!

No, I’m joking – molybdenum is top o’ the list, king o’ the heap, lord o’ the group-6 chemical elements’ feudal estate. And no longer do you have to scour the tri-county area for the biggest savings on molybdenum. Just drive on down to Mad Mel’s on Route 726, just past the Holiday Inn with the burnt-out ‘H’, east out of Mackleston. If you see the boarded-up Taco Bell with the be-penised Spongebob spray-painted on the side, you’ve driven too far.

Mad Mel’s motto has always been: Buy (mostly) American! We all know China is leading the world in molybdenum mining, but some of the finest raw materials are crawling their way out of Colorado. But tell me, have you ever checked out some molybdenum scraped from genuine Peruvian wulfenite? On the surface it may look similar to what you’re used to, but slop a little of that stuff into your forge and you will thank Mad Mel tomorrow!

Maybe you’re looking to develop a new toothpaste that will rid the world of tooth decay and force all those high-falutin’ dentists to go out and get real jobs (in molybdenum mines, for example). Did you know that molybdenum is abundant in tooth enamel? Why not pick up a Mad-Mel-size bag and try incorporating some molybdenum power into your new product? You’d be a fool not to!

Have you or someone you love spent any time in northern China, northern India, or Iran? There’s a good chance that someone will die soon… but Mad Mel can help! It’s a proven fact – low molybdenum concentrations in the soil in that part of the world has been tied to an increased rate of esophageal cancer. Pick up some soil-ready molybdenum from Mad Mel this weekend, and he’ll throw in a packet of turnip seeds for free! You’ll be able to nurse your loved one back from the possibility of future bad health in no time! Or, in however long it takes turnips to grow, I guess.

Mad Mel’s new food section has been garnering rave reviews! Mel only sells molybdenum-rich foodstuffs, like lentils, green beans, sunflower seeds, cucumbers and unsweetened cereal grain. Treat your family to a tasty molybdinner tonight!

Of course we all know that direct ingestion of molybdenum is frowned upon, mostly because it will kill you. But there’s no rule that says you can’t grind up a little molybdenum sparingly to add spark to soups, a little risk to your bisque, or a little hooray-ya to your paella. Or if there is such a rule, Mad Mel ignores it. Molybdenum is good for the soul! Plus it will add to the copper content of your urine! Copper can be resold! For money!

Chances are, if you’re in the market for some molybdenum, you’re looking to brew up some structural steel or stainless steel, maybe a little cast iron, or – if you live the fast life – a superalloy. Maybe you’re taking the molybdenum all the way to its final destination as an airplane part or an industrial motor or that thing inside the engine of my old Datsun that I can’t find a replacement part for, even on eBay. Mad Mel will find the right product to fit your needs, and your budget.

But wait… there’s more!

Mad Mel can also supply you with hundreds of options for dynamic molybdenum-related accessories. Things like pens, coffee mugs, molybdenum-of-the-month wall calendars, novelties (the Molybdoo-doo fake dog excrement is a huge seller!), mousepads, cordless phone cozies, temporary tattoos, yarmulkes, a molybdenum-themed VHS tape rewinder, jeans made from Mad Mel’s own fabric blend known as molyb-denim, and even T-shirts!

Also, Mad Mel still has about a dozen remaining copies of the tremendously popular Christmas CD by Mackleston County-area folk/fusion band Molly B. & The Denums! That’s right, you can still groove to such catchy holiday songs as “Have A Holly, Jolly, Molybdenum Christmas”, “Deck The Halls (With Boughs Of Molybdenum)”, “I Saw Molybdenum Kissing Santa Claus”, and “Jingle Bell Rock (Specifically A Rock That Contains Traces Of Molybdenum)”. It can be Christmas all year long!

So don’t delay, put down that ridiculous tungsten, and get yourself down to Mad Mel’s Molyb Den today! Our materials are only the highest quality, and our prices are molyb-dyn-o-mite!

Remember, that’s Mad Mel’s Molyb Den on Route 726, just east of Mackleston. Element 42 on the periodic table, but number one in savings!

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