Day 891: Dungeons & Dragons & Eternal Damnation

originally published June 9, 2014 Any responsible parent already knows that their children are but a wayward blink away from an eternity of fiery evil. It seems that every fad, trend or popular pastime of the past half-century has fallen beneath the dusty scrutiny of some religious group or another, damning the activity as Satanic, […]

Day 890: Put Your Head On My Shoulder, Neck And Everything Else

originally published June 8, 2014 In honor of our species’ unending quest to concoct our own mythical creatures from the depths of our creativity and our most depraved scientific know-how, I give you the head transplant. I’m not referring to the overplayed movie trope in which Jamie Lee Curtis swaps minds with Lindsay Lohan in […]

Day 889: Palming, Swinging And Sungazing Your Way To Perfect Vision!

originally published June 7, 2014 The day I acquired my first pair of eyeglasses – those big, clunky 80’s frames that cock-blocked so many teens in the throes of inescapable hormones. I was thirteen and wholly displeased. Sure, now I could read my Star Wars poster from across the room and I no longer had […]

Day 888: The Real Section-8ness Of The Section 8

originally published June 6, 2014 On the 27th episode of M*A*S*H, only three shows into its second season, Corporal Max Klinger made his most serious and likely push for his dismissal from the US Army. It was a running gag throughout the first seven years of the show that Klinger would wrap himself in dresses, […]

Day 887: Disco Inferno In The Heart Of Chicago

originally published June 5, 2014 Unite a crowd of people under the frumpy awning of hate and it’s not hard for things to shimmy out of control. Provide those same people with a river of cheap beer and a charismatic leader to stoke their ire and you’d best check that you’re insured against a savage […]

Day 886: When Whales Explode

originally published June 4, 2014 Human beings – and I’d specify the male of the species here, though I’m quite certain this amply bridges the gender gap – love to watch things explode. David Letterman helped to build his reputation by throwing stuff off a building and airing the ensuing splatter. TV shows on the […]

Day 885: Video Predates The Radio Star

originally published June 3, 2014 Now a haven for reality shows and programming that has little or nothing to do with anything resembling music, MTV was once the go-to station for the ubiquitously 80’s art form known as the music video. But flipping one’s video rolodex back to the Buggles singing “Video Killed The Radio […]

Day 884: How A Massive Jet Plane Became A Glider

originally published June 2, 2014 To my knowledge, there has never been a commercial airline disaster on a flight that has departed from or been on its way to Edmonton, the city where my fingers do most of their keyboard-thumping. One could take that as optimistic reassurance or as a terrifying taunt to the Odds […]

Day 883: The Starlet Of The Sports Pages

originally published June 1, 2014 “It would be much better if she and her ilk stayed at home, got themselves prettied up and waited for the phone to ring.” So said sportswriter Joe Williams of the New York Herald-Tribune. He was writing a critical (and overtly misogynistic) piece about Babe Didrikson-Zaharias. Babe’s name is anything […]

Day 882: Smoking Your Smirnoff & Other Sciencey Drinky Things

originally published May 31, 2014 As an experienced recreational imbiber of liquid giddiness, I’d like to think I have evolved to the point where I’m ready to infuse a little science with my drinking. I have mastered my threshold of vomit-inducing over-consumption, and when the mood is right I’ll even remember to balance my ethanol […]