Day 174: –censored–

originally published June 22, 2012 As a purveyor of bacon-related humor and often tasteless gags, I find it somewhat unethical to write about somebody else’s comedy. But while the heart of today’s topic is truly a piece of modern fundamental comedy gospel, there’s much more to examine than the seven words which make up its […]

Day 118: Words Coined In The 00’s (That Don’t End In -izzle)

originally published April 27, 2012 There’s something about a new word. A word is special when it’s fresh, new, and somersaulting off the lips of people with the fever of new-found meaning. Years ago I coined the contraction “besn’t”, as a shorter form of telling my kids they’d best not do something (“You besn’t light […]

Day 44: A Graduation Speech In Only 150 Idioms

originally published February 13, 2012 (this entire speech was cribbed from this Wikipedia page) Hello, graduates. The powers that be would bet dollars to donuts that your experience at the University of Life will supersede your time spent within these hallowed halls. Allow me to impart my two cents on the twiddly bits of life. […]

Day 40: Feeling Like A Complete Ideograph

originally published February 9, 2012 Today’s article will dance down the hallways of rhetoric, spin beneath the sparkling chandelier of discourse and pose in a graceful dip against the backdrop of propaganda. We open on the ideograph. Master debater and social critic Michael Calvin McGee coined the term in 1980, referring to certain words and […]