Day 115: Encyclopedia Brown And The Case Of The Magic Berry Pills

originally published April 24, 2012 If only the secrets of eternal health and karmic balance could be obtained in a single pill. Well, look no further than your local random internet page’s pop-up ad or splashy banner. Not only does that magical pill exist, but you can try it for FREE! That’s right, a limited-time, […]

Day 114: CandyShock

originally published April 23, 2012 Sometimes controversy is a good idea. A racy ad gets people talking, a scandalous drunken escapade can bring a ton of publicity. Sometimes you can beat up your girlfriend and people will still buy your music and treat you like something other than the piece of human garbage everyone knows […]

Day 113: The Rogue Ale Experiment

originally published April 22, 2012 Today’s article is brought to you by the good people at the Rogue brewery. Today, as I write this, I am sampling their “Voodoo Doughnut” product, a bacon maple ale. That’s right, I like a little bacon flavor in my beer. Those of you who read my love letter to […]

Day 107: Words To Drool By – New York Cuisine

originally published April 16, 2012 Once again I’m punishing myself. I wrote a heart-felt ode to bacon earlier this week, and today I find my stomach and fingers aimed squarely at the cuisine of New York City. Fortunately, this is not a topic that can be consumed in one article, so I’ll tuck some of […]

Day 102: A Love Letter To Bacon

originally published April 11, 2012 I have written about a lot of subjects this year. 101, though if you count the hundred topics from two days ago and the dozens I scraped up for my haiku experiment, the number is closer to 300. Some subjects (the 1715 Jacobite Uprising, the Subservient Chicken) I have been […]

Day 76: Miller Lite – Everything You’ve Always Wanted In An Article… And Less

originally published March 16, 2012 I have not yet written an article on one of my favorite topics: great beer. Today I will unfortunately not be breaking that streak. My topic du jour is Miller Lite. I’ve only had one Miller Lite in my thirty-seven years, and I vaguely remember it being only marginally different […]

Day 73: Crazy Uncle Dave’s Temperance Letter

originally published March 13, 2012 Dear Marty, As your “crazy hip uncle”, I feel that I should reach out to you. You are at a crucial age, one where you’ll be faced with a lot of choices about how to live your life. Some of those choices may offer you a better path than others. […]

Day 43: Say, Cheese!

originally published February 12, 2012 There are 309 varieties of cheese listed on Wikipedia. I could list them here, and along with this sentence I’d be a third of the way through today’s article. But where’s the fun in that? Actually, more than 500 kinds of cheese are recognized by the International Dairy Federation, a […]

Day 31: I Am The Subservient Chicken

originally published January 31, 2012 I am the Subservient Chicken. I was born in Boston to a group of polite louts called the Barbarian Group. They had created something called the ‘Beer Cannon’ for a strange malodorous sludge called Milwaukee’s Best, and then they created me. I was bred to do a job. I do […]