Day 787: A Splatter Of Ketchup (Or Catsup)

originally published February 25, 2014 Of all the emails I receive, not counting those that pitch erectile magic or discount OxyKAUNTtiN, many implore me to tackle some of the most serious issues of our time in my articles. Sure, it’s fun to read about thought experiments or serial killers, but when am I going to […]

Day 744: The Mothers Of All Sauces

originally published January 13, 2014 In traditional French haute-cuisine (which is defined as French food that is neither fries nor onion soup nor yellow bottled mustard), sauces are the most crucial part of the dish. If you think of your entrée as Star Wars, the sauce would be John Williams’ indelible score. French food without […]

Day 711: That Sweet, Sumptuous Slush

originally published December 11, 2013 Whilst wandering the school grounds during recess, pondering the lunacy of those hearty Edmonton settlers who determined that this frozen hellscape would somehow not be a ludicrous place to plop down a new town, I noticed a boy in my grade who was eating snow from his be-mittened hand. “Enrique,” […]

Day 677: Pouring A Frothy Pint O’ Culture

originally published November 7, 2013 As the cast of characters in my young adult life glide into the final act, preparing for their bow and subsequent re-emergence in the sequel (Middle-Age: The Saggening), I find myself reflecting on the various story arcs that brought me here. The salient plot point of alcohol has been a […]

Day 658: The Sumptuous Buttery World Of Popcorn

originally published October 19, 2013 The esteemed American poet James Joseph Brown Jr. once wrote, “But when I get funky, I do the sap. And when I want lovin’, mother, she got to have. Say, you got to have a mother for me. Yeah, popcorn.” And so it was. Popcorn is one of the most […]

Day 654: Craving A Bud? Better Watch What You Pour

originally published October 15, 2013 In the bustling city of České Budêjovice in the southern part of the Czech Republic, there exists a strange reminder of the mammoth reach of the American justice system. This little city of about 96,000 people is known in German and English as ‘Budweis’. Sure, they have an Academy of […]

Day 645: Luscious, Lovable Licorice

originally published October 6, 2013 As I twist off the wrapper of my final Candy Week installment, I quietly hope my sweet tooth has been suitably sated. In actual fact, the only time my words brought an unconquerable craving to my lips was the night after my Kit Kat piece. I felt no guilt in […]

Day 644: Unwrapping The Unwanted – Worst Candy

originally published October 5, 2013 When it comes to candy, taste is truly in the tongue of the beholder. There is no Wikipedian compendium of the world’s worst candy, as there is for the worst movies, TV shows and music. My daughter, my own flesh and blood turns up her nose at the coveted Coffee […]

Day 643: Forget The Romance, Just Give Me The Sugar

originally published October 4, 2013 So as the alleged flu in my gullet has evolved to a full-blown infection in the neighborhood of my poor tired uvula, I find myself still bed-bound and bored. Luckily I have reserved the opportunity to spend a few hours every day this week in the company of candy. Not […]

Day 642: Whose Broad Stripes And Bright Bars…

originally published October 3, 2013 With the cold claws of a vicious flu scraping against bone through my unguarded skin, I find that only the visions of the sweet satisfaction of treats long past can de-throb my head and un-ache my sedentary muscles. Though it’s true, my innards are craving only some tea, soup, and […]