Day 423: Got To Keep The Devil, Keep Him On Down In The Hole

originally published February 26, 2013 Scientology. It’s a harmless religion, packed with goofy alien-oriented scripture, intriguing sci-fi technology and at worst, it makes Tom Cruise jump up and down on couches, claiming psychiatry to be crap. No big deal, right? While answering this question with a resounding “NO” might land me on some crazy Enemies […]

Day 421: The Number That Will DESTROY You!!!

originally published February 24, 2013 People believe in some strange things. Some of these beliefs evolve into organized religions, others turn into cults, and the ones that don’t catch enough fan buzz get pigeon-holed into superstition. Had Jesus broken a mirror or walked under a ladder right before his betrayal and crucifixion, then these precautions […]

Day 398: Happy —- Day – February Edition

originally published February 1, 2013 Happy February! In my little corner of the frozen tundra, February is the usually the first time we can look forward to a stretch of above-freezing temperatures, if only for a few days. February is Super Bowl month, heart-shaped-candy month, and our first long weekend of the new year (since […]

Day 396: Pump Up The Culture Jam

originally published January 30, 2013 Are you tired of being controlled and manipulated by mass mainstream media? Do you find yourself zoning out and actually getting concerned about the toilet paper shrapnel clinging to the child-bear’s ass-fur in those Charmin commercials? Are you planning on purchasing a flat of Budweiser for this Sunday’s big game […]

Day 394: Who Do Hoodoo?

originally published January 28, 2013 You’ve surely heard of voodoo, but what about hoodoo? They both originate from the same part of the globe, but they’re stems growing from different roots. Voodoo is religion, be it Haitian, Louisianan or West African. Hoodoo is a long distance call to the spirit world. Voodoo is the zesty […]

Day 393: What I Know About Balls

originally published January 27, 2013 In my chilly little quadrant of the world, one’s rite of passage when turning 18 is usually to get drunk for the first time. Well, ‘legally’ for the first time. Alberta is one of only three provinces to allow 18-year-olds to guzzle tequila like it’s Sunny D. But for a […]

Day 391: Stripped Down ‘n Strollin’

originally published January 25, 2013 “How do I attract more readers?” I asked of Lucius, my imaginary pygmy-elephant and trusted advisor. “Controversy,” Lucius replied. He was right. It’s time to stir things up. It’s time to shake the Internet’s rickety bones. It’s time to get naked! Or at least write about getting naked. I’m at […]

Day 382: Meet The New Zodiac

originally published January 16, 2013 Every so often, which is to say almost every day, I find myself writing about a topic I know nothing about, flailing desperately to sound slightly educated on the matter, when in fact I’m mostly relying on information from my dark she-mistress, Wikipedia, and the crap I make up as […]

Day 371: The End Of Them All (…or The End Of The Mall)

originally published January 5, 2013 The above photo is a news clipping for West Edmonton Mall, published shortly before it opened in September of 1981, giving my unlikely northern city the curious honor of hosting the world’s largest shopping mall. Two years later the mall expanded, adding a McDonald’s and the largest indoor amusement park […]

Day 369: Greetings, Conqueror!

originally published January 3, 2013 Congratulations! You just discovered a brand new island, enslaved its native peoples, and now you’re set to start your very own country! The first thing you need to do is pick out a system of government that will maximize your new nation’s wealth, support its security, and best serve its […]