Day 669: Watch Out, It’s Fear-The-Teens Night Again

originally published October 30, 2013 Tomorrow night your little angel may be hitting the streets, going door to door to beg for candy like a gin-soaked hobo with nothing left to lose but his last shred of dignity and the Tinky-Winky costume his mother had bought him. But tonight your angel’s older brother or sister […]

Day 668: Canada’s Dead Won’t Shut Up Either

originally published October 29, 2013 For an old building, the rumor of spectral haunting is a compliment. It’s one thing to have a turn-of-the-20th-century gothic hotel in your town, creeping out passing pedestrians. But if you can pepper the building’s history with the tale of a chambermaid whose head was decapitated by the dumbwaiter door […]

Day 667: Five Spine-Tingling Must-Sees Of Haunted America

originally published October 28, 2013 As you may or may not be aware, you are required by law to scare yourself at least once between now and Thursday. Perhaps you’re fortunate enough to have plunked your belongings into a house with a ghoulish past. Maybe like most of us you’ll shirk your requisite tribute to […]

Day 666: How Many Number-Fearing Superstitious Nutjobs Does It Take…

originally published October 27, 2013 All month long I have been receiving emails, letters, semaphore flags and be-noted thrown bricks, asking if I’ll be devoting Day 666 to Apollyon, the Father of Lies, the King of Babylon, the Ruler of Demons, the Roaring Lion, the Serpent of Old, the Wicked One… you know, that dude […]

Day 655: The Trademark Battles Of The Ages (TM)

originally published October 16, 2013 Yesterday’s voyage into the beechwood-aged fluids of Budweiser’s actual history vs. its American corporate identity merely tickled my fingers with its potential. Trademark law is a quivering glob of gelatinous weirdness, where the good guys and bad guys are seldom as opaque and forthright as they might have you believe. […]

Day 636: Welcoming My Year Of Doom

originally published September 27, 2013 The moment I enthusiastically smashed ‘PUBLISH’ yesterday morning, propelling my dreary (yet hopefully at least moderately pithy) tribute to some of history’s worst music onto this site, I surpassed a significant milestone along the rickety trail of this project. Yesterday’s article signalled one year until the epic conclusion of my […]

Day 601: The Thousand-Word Fortune Cookie

originally published August 23, 2013 The reaction to yesterday’s article, which outlined future planetary events over the next couple centuries, was overwhelming. “It changed the way I see the world,” said one fan that I made up. “So much information in such a callipygian space!” said another, who clearly doesn’t know the meaning of the […]

Day 589: Electopalooza 2003!

originally published August 11, 2013 Even though it costs the taxpayers a crap-ton of money, I still like the idea behind the recall election. When a person gets elected to office, the people who put him or her there really have no idea how well or how poorly they’ll do in the position. Sometimes our […]

Day 588: 15 Minutes Of Fame… And Counting

originally published August 10, 2013 I have made no secret about the fact that the Kardashians, the most unredeemably useless potholes along the seedy boulevard of our popular culture, will never be the focus of an article here. They serve no purpose, except to draw ratings away from people who actually work for a living […]

Day 581: Betting The House Against Microsoft

originally published: August 3, 2013 Depending on who you ask, Microsoft might be an arch-villain monopoly, a life-saving brilliance factory, or something in between. I happily smush my syllables through Microsoft Word, prattle my system along the rattly road of Microsoft Windows (sure, it’s Windows 8, but I try to pretend otherwise), and I’ve dusted […]