Day 868: Tapping The Rage Of The Bus Uncle

originally published May 17, 2014 Before plopping my be-Speedo’ed word-butts onto the winding waterslide of today’s twisted topic, I’d like to point out that I never intended to pen a disquisition on any Youtube celebrity or trendy viral video. That was before I encountered The Bus Uncle. The Bus Uncle is no Numa Numa, and […]

Day 866: Blessed Be This House Of Poop

originally published May 15, 2014 People often ask me whether or not I worry about running out of interesting topics before this thousand days is up. My response is always the same. “Of course not,” I tell them. “I haven’t yet written about toilet gods.” Well, today I throw caution at the swirling fan and […]

Day 863: The Online Chinese Limbo

originally published May 12, 2014 You may not have noticed, but while the Chinese economy is poised to plant its conquering flag upon the global marketplace, the country’s government is astoundingly fucked up. Fucked up and frightened, gauging by the unfathomable swath of censorship that it clings to. What other explanation can there be for […]

Day 861: The Lawn Chair Pilot Takes Off

originally published May 10, 2014 For those with unlimited imagination and an unfiltered sense of audacity, our gravitational tether to the ground ceases to be a limitation. Those who are terrified of heights may hug their earth-bound security with nary a blink toward the clouds, but for those of us who would happily dance a […]

Day 851: Eviscerating The Elected – Worst Politicians Part 1

originally published April 30, 2014 – NOTE THAT THIS WAS BEFORE THE ELECTION OF TRUMP. If a politician’s legacy was determined solely by how many bad things are said about them in public, then all of history’s worst politicians are either presently in office or they have served their terms since the advent of the […]

Day 850: When Society Slaps Back At The Intelligentsia

originally published April 29, 2014 The dumbing-down mentality within our popular culture is so pervasive, even those at the bottom of the intellectual food chain are aware it’s happening. Lest you worry that this will turn into a kvetch-laden rant about the Grand Media Conspiracy, let me assure you that we are doing this to […]

Day 846: I Hereby Yield The Floor To The Member Of Parliament From Crazytown

originally published April 25, 2014 As much as I try to avoid writing about politics (mostly because I’m far more informed about other topics, like bacon and juggling), I am nevertheless somewhat boggled, baffled and befuddled at the fact that Rob Ford could very possibly win his bid for re-election this fall as Toronto’s mayor. […]

Day 844: The Girl With The X-Ray Eyes

originally published April 23, 2014 I think I would have made a good superhero. I get along well with sidekicks, I’m mostly incorruptible, and I’d probably look pretty smokin’ in a cowl. But alas, I have fallen into zero vats of radiation, been struck by no meteors, and if I saw a radioactive spider I’d […]

Day 832: The Anti-Farting Law That Nearly Was

originally published April 11, 2014 Every so often a story wanders down the legal footpath, leaving in its wake the floral stench of incalculable weirdness. In the case of the 2011 Air Fouling Legislation in the tiny southern African country of Malawi, the scent is remarkably different. This is the smell of post-legume discipline and […]

Day 826: I’m Living It

originally published April 5, 2014 As we clamber into another springtime, the romantics fluttering their tootsies at the prospect of potential prospects while we loathers of the eternal snow pray for sanctuary from the dreary grey, it’s time to get away from talking about the weather and back to what matters: bitching about society. It […]