Day 151: Love & Fenced Goods – The Ikey Solomon Story

originally published May 30, 2012 Aspiring screenwriters take note – the story of Ikey Solomon is worthy of a biopic. I’m not sure who’d fit in the lead role, but if Jake Gyllenhall can pull off a British accent, let’s tap him for this. We’d just have to make his nose more put-an-eye-out pointy. London’s […]

Day 150: Operation – A Game Of Skill, Patience, And CRAP! I Hit The Buzzer!

originally published May 29, 2012 If you grew up in western society during the last 50 years, chances are you have spent some fraction of your time on Earth hunched over a cardboard human with a red plastic nose, steadying your tweezer hand while digging for a plastic wishbone tucked within his innards. Maybe you […]

Day 149: Planning My Next Cranial Accessory

originally published May 28, 2012 I need a new hat. I don’t run in the kind of social circles that would put up with a top hat, and a fedora always makes me look a little too Jewy. A beret sends the wrong message regarding my limited tolerance for slam poetry, a bowler hat makes […]

Day 148: The Mountain Meadows Massacre

originally published May 27, 2012 American history is chock full of blood, battles, and stories so unbelievably shocking they almost make Howard the Duck seem plausible. Like the story of the Mountain Meadows Massacre. In the late 1850s, while the northern and southern states were gearing up for a bloody scrum that would inspire future […]

Day 147: Spoiling Magic – Three Card Tricks To Impress The Young Or Feeble-Minded

originally published May 26, 2012 Wikipeida is not merely a wonderful resource for information and finding out if old celebrities are still alive (you go, Abe Vigoda!), but it can also be employed to shatter childhood wonder. Gone are the days when some guy in a top hat can convince me that there are otherworldly […]

Day 146: My First PK Party

originally published May 25, 2012 I attended my first PK party last week. I was thrilled to get the invite – it had been a three-month dry spell in my social schedule, ever since that unfortunate misunderstanding at Tony Pezsnecker’s key party. Honestly, the invitations should have been more clear, and once again, I am […]

Day 145: The Terrace Mutiny – This Shit Really Happened

originally published May 24, 2012 Cursing as I might (and indeed I might) at my hometown’s isolation, its weather, and its nauseating pride at being home base for conservatism and redneckery in Canada, I am proud of this country’s military record. We don’t often go to war, but when a genuine global threat prompts immediate […]

Day 144: Great Movies You Probably Haven’t Seen – Zelig

originally published May 23, 2012 Most people in my sheltered little world would declare that they are not fans of Woody Allen. Maybe it’s because they’re still hung up on his 20-year-old scandal, or maybe they find his work too ‘Jewy’ – I should probably find out though, since I shouldn’t be hanging around with […]

Day 143: Ten Toys I Never Got To Play With From The 00’s

originally published May 22, 2012 Am I too old to play with toys? Perhaps. At my age, ‘toys’ are supposed to refer to power tools, iPads, a GPS, or – in a completely different context – sexual accompaniment apparati. I grew up in the 1980s. My toys were often Star Wars, Transformers, or GI Joe […]

Day 142: Your Emergency Handy Radio Guide

originally published May 21, 2012 The power has gone out. Your iPod is dead, your laptop is drained and you left your cell phone at work so you can’t even amuse yourself with that goddamn brick-breaker game. What’s left? You decide to light some candles and use that old portable FM radio to give you […]