Day 251: Yoko, Pre-John

originally published September 7, 2012 Yoko Ono has been called many things: an artist, a philanthropist, the anti-Beatle, and several terms I don’t care to use in mixed company, unless I’m dealing with traffic. I never bought into the Dragon-Lady angle. It’s a cop-out to say that she broke up the Beatles, when clearly the […]

Day 250: The Big Spoiler

originally published September 6, 2012 Today is the 250th day of 2012. Today is also the day I cross a quarter-million words written this year. “Official” words, anyhow – only once have I landed square on 1000 words and not gone over. I am halfway to the halfway mark, and to the 500th-Article party I […]

Day 249: Breaking Down Sweat Without Breaking A Sweat

originally published September 5, 2012 Much like the notion of success, today’s article is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration, by which I mean beer. Well, maybe that balance is a little inaccurate, I don’t know. Is it warm in here? Perspiration, that cruel bitch of a body function that can define an embarrassing business presentation […]

Day 248: The Reds Are Coming! The Reds Are Coming!

originally published September 4, 2012 Everyone knows that the worst research papers begin with the phrase “Webster’s Dictionary defines…”. That said, Webster’s Dictionary defines communism as “a theory advocating elimination of private property.” Post-WWII America defines communism as “the greatest threat to humans ever, including space-rapists and Supertuberculosis.” Naturally the source of all this evil […]

Day 247: A Labor Day Quiz – Fictional Birds

originally published September 3, 2012 It’s Labor Day, the day when people around the world (or in whatever countries celebrate Labor Day) try to do the opposite of the day’s namesake by sitting on our asses for one last day before September kicks in. But some of us still have to toil away the holiday. […]

Day 246: Isn’t It About Time You Flonked Your Dwile?

originally published September 2, 2012 The big grey sun of a new school year’s worth of stress is looming beyond the horizon. Many of us enrolled in post-secondary studies have but one final guilt-free night in which we can drink until we’re half-blind. Well, until next weekend, anyway. If sitting around and swilling pint after […]

Day 245: Spooling The Spew – Worst Films Part 2

originally published September 1, 2012 A couple months ago I began what I hoped would become a regular segment, a landmark I could pace myself with as I rode around this project, month by month, lapping my words with more words. I wrote about three awful films, taken from Wikipedia’s page of films considered to […]

Day 244: Blockheads Of The World Unite! The Tetris Story

Originally published August 31, 2012 It was the summer of 1989. Tone Loc was doing his Wild Thing on the radio, western civilization was somehow finding its way forward after the series finale of Moonlighting, and a 14-year-old me wandered into an arcade on the University of British Columbia campus in Vancouver. I remember the […]

Day 243: From Kola To Cola – Inside The Bubbles

originally published August 30, 2012 Lately I find myself taking an increasingly long time to decide which carbonated soda beverage I want to pour into my gullet on a weekday afternoon. And while I’ll occasionally ride the wild seas of root beer, surf the jagged waters of a lemon-lime soda, or explore the untamed wilderness […]

Day 242: The Unfinished Article

originally published August 29, 2012 There are days when writing my daily tithe feels like it’ll be the death of me. But unless something should strike me down in the middle of penning a kilograph, I won’t be leaving behind any grand unfinished work. Sure, I might perish before I turn 40, in which case […]