Day 371: The End Of Them All (…or The End Of The Mall)

originally published January 5, 2013 The above photo is a news clipping for West Edmonton Mall, published shortly before it opened in September of 1981, giving my unlikely northern city the curious honor of hosting the world’s largest shopping mall. Two years later the mall expanded, adding a McDonald’s and the largest indoor amusement park […]

Day 370: Eponymation, Part III

originally published January 4, 2013 I devoted a couple of December articles to the curious phenomenon of eponyms, those nuggets of linguistic history in which a word enters our language, named for the soul responsible for its origin. I don’t know if I’ll ever be among the fortunate who have contributed their moniker to our […]

Day 369: Greetings, Conqueror!

originally published January 3, 2013 Congratulations! You just discovered a brand new island, enslaved its native peoples, and now you’re set to start your very own country! The first thing you need to do is pick out a system of government that will maximize your new nation’s wealth, support its security, and best serve its […]

Day 368: Drawing The Lucky ‘666’

originally published January 2, 2013 In 1980, Nick Perry had a decent, though rather mundane job. Every night, he’d claim his tiny little corner of local fame on WTAE-TV in Pittsburgh, announcing the nightly broadcast of winning Pennsylvania Lottery numbers. On the one hand, he was potentially creating wealthy Americans every time he stepped onto […]

Day 367: The Happy Rockin’ New Year’s Day Quiz

originally published January 1, 2013 It’s New Year’s Day, and that means forsaking actual research in lieu of a Holiday Quiz. For me, it’s a big jump forward. I can no longer Google “What Day Of The Year Is It” in order to make sure my article numbering is correct; now I have to do […]

Day 366: My State-Of-The-Madness Address, Year 1

originally published December 31, 2012 As I pull the final leafy page off my Lozenge-A-Day calendar (cool! It’s a green Zuigtablet from Holland!), I feel I should take a few moments (specifically, a thousand words’ worth of moments) to reflect on the past year, and on the madness that kept me glued to this project […]

Day 365: The Ghosts Of Disney Past

originally published December 30, 2012 Eleven years ago today, I was in Disneyland. I found I had just as much fun as a 27-year-old with two kids as I’d had when I was six, despite now knowing the true cost of a Churro on the grounds (I think it was something like $45).Yesterday I unearthed […]

Day 364: Just One Word… Plastics.

originally published December 29, 2012 In 1989, we were handed a prediction of one particular vision of the future. We caught a glimpse of 2015, seen through the eyes of Marty McFly, and the future looked damn exciting. Hoverboards, self-tying shoes and TV glasses inspired the 14-year-old me. They told me that yes, the future […]

Day 363: What? The “Fuck!”

originally published December 28, 2012 A sizzling labio-dental fricative, a punchy open-mid back unrounded vowel, followed by a triumphant voiceless velar plosive. It’s a single syllable with the cartilage-crunching mule-kick of power. It is fuck. On the one hand, it represents the beautiful act of love; on the other, it is the perfunctory summation of […]

Day 362: 25 Years Gone

originally published December 27, 2012 Yesterday I got to wondering what 2012 institution would remain relevant a quarter century from now. Today, perhaps because I’m finally crashing from my tryptophan and candy-cane high, I’m feeling a little morbid. We lost the Twinkie this year, as well as Sara Lee, Chumbawumba, and Fear Factor (again). In […]