Day 431: The Rancid Underside Of Winning

originally published March 6, 2013 Most lottery winners disappear with their winnings into obscurity, savoring fortune whilst evading fame, happy to have their spotlight moment in the evening news, then disappearing into the night with their oversize novelty check tucked beneath their arm. Whether the money changes their lives, whether it changes who they are, […]

Day 430: Rolling The Papal Dice

originally published March 5, 2013 For the better part of a week, Catholics have been popeless, treading helplessly through the murky waters of faith without a leader. And whether you believe that the Pontiff is a God-picked master of the divine, worthy of having the creator of the universe on his speed-dial and fully equipped […]

Day 429: Ready, Aim, Sue! (Patent Law Edition)

originally published March 4, 2013 Not long ago, during that fabulous festive quartet of articles known as Vegas Week, I pointed out that the Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas sign was created by Betty Willis and released into the world with no copyright. Betty wanted that design to be her gift to the city she […]

Day 428: Beast-Battling For Sport

originally published March 3, 2013 If you’re an animal lover with a weak stomach, you may want to skip this article. We at 1000-Words Industries do not endorse, nor can we completely comprehend the events described herein. I suppose in the days before Reddit and Twitter, before Quantum Leap, Gunsmoke and One Day At A […]

Day 427: Fifty Shades Of Greyamundo

originally published March 2, 2013 As am sure every one of you is aware, the final Twilight movie is released today on DVD, Blu-Ray, and limited-release Betamax Double-Tape Super-Pak. No doubt fans of sparkling vampire literature and cinema will now look elsewhere for cultural consumption, perhaps to the inevitable film adaptation of Fifty Shades Of […]

Day 426: Happy — Day – March Edition

originally published March 1, 2013 Happy birthday mom! With that out of the way… it’s March! The month when spring is summoned by the dripping alarm clock of vanishing snow and sufficiently titillated mercury. When grey gets washed away in green. When the dreary edifice of post-holiday winterishness crumbles into the sea of renewal. Well, […]

Day 425: Screwing The Scoreboard – Worst Sports Teams

originally published February 28, 2013 Every month I take a look at some of the worst mistakes art has made, from misguided movies to terrible tunes to the rectum of the airwaves known as reality TV. But art is subjective. I’m sure there are tens, even dozens of people who found Manos: The Hands Of […]

Day 424: The Good Folk Of ’71

originally published February 27, 2013 People – mostly the imaginary people who routinely accompany me in dull, solitary tasks like taking out the garbage or folding laundry – often ask me if I worry about exhausting the Wikipedian supply of kilograph-worthy topics. I have spent enough hours clicking ‘Random Article’ to realize that this will […]

Day 423: Got To Keep The Devil, Keep Him On Down In The Hole

originally published February 26, 2013 Scientology. It’s a harmless religion, packed with goofy alien-oriented scripture, intriguing sci-fi technology and at worst, it makes Tom Cruise jump up and down on couches, claiming psychiatry to be crap. No big deal, right? While answering this question with a resounding “NO” might land me on some crazy Enemies […]

Day 422: Big Box O’Juke – 70’s Edition

originally published February 25, 2013 It’s time to dial up some tuneage from the distant past, back when cheese was king and fashions looked like rainbows had thrown up onto a jelly bean factory. Yes, it’s another edition of the Big Box O’ Juke, where you learn the stories behind the hits, and probably end […]