Day 561: The Slash Of The Big Easy Axeman

originally published July 14, 2013 Esteemed Mortal: They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and […]

Day 560: Pay No Attention To The White Conservative Behind The Curtain…

originally published July 13, 2013 I’ve never been one to buy in completely to a juicy conspiracy theory. I’ve listened to Jesse Ventura rant passionately and succinctly on Howard Stern’s satellite radio show about how the World Trade Center towers’ collapse on 9/11 was clearly the result of a vast government plot. I have watched […]

Day 559: The Loins Of Coins

originally published July 12, 2013 Next time you flip a coin, you should take a moment to pause and reflect on the lengthy journey the concept of the coin has taken to arrive at this very instant, determining your fate. Actually no, don’t do that. It’s stupid, and besides, you’ll probably get distracted and miss […]

Day 558: An Evening’s Worth Of Lost Film

originally published July 11, 2013 Throughout my years of paying an exorbitant amount of money to study the history of film, I was often told of films that had been lost to the ages for whatever reason. Georges Méliès, the first man to play around with film as an art form, had a lot of […]

Day 557: Ourselves As Ancient History

originally published July 10, 2013 Had I planned ahead as a child and buried a time capsule to be opened when the heavy cloak of middle age officially snuffed out the last remaining candle of my youthful jubilance, I suspect I know what I’d have dropped in there. A copy of John Williams’ Star Wars […]

Day 556: Call It Morning Driving Through The Sound And In And Out The Valley

originally published July 9, 2013 The astute scholars of classic prog-rock in my audience will recognize today’s title as lyrics from the brilliant 1972 kick-off track from Yes’ Fragile album, “Roundabout.” This is my attempt at the clumsiest introduction in my 556 day history, as today’s topic is about that bane of so many drivers’ […]

Day 555: Hey… That’s Not A Real Number!

originally published July 8, 2013 Yesterday my mother commented that she has had the same phone number for 37 years. That’s nearly four decades and the bulk of my younger years using the same seven-digit code (or seven-tone melody) to unlock a conversation with my mother. When my son asked for her number a couple […]

Day 554: Who Holds The Most Pretend Money?

originally published July 7, 2013 Some lucky soul (or souls) claimed the Lotto Max on Friday night, the Canada-wide lottery that often stretches its jackpot to $50 million. This was one of those big-money draws, and I was denied the prize once again, for the silly inconsequential reason that I didn’t buy a ticket. Who […]

Day 553: When The Thrills Are Quelled

originally published July 6, 2013 Neither of my voyages to the magnificent city of New York have brought me to Brooklyn. This is a matter of personal irk, as Brooklyn is where my great-grandfather hung his funky old 1910’s-era fedora after shuffling through the lineups at Ellis Island, planting the Schwartz flag on North American […]

Day 552: Her?

originally published July 5, 2013 This is, of course, the day after the day when Americans join together, partisan strangleholds aside, and revel in their love for their country and mutual enthrallment at watching things explode in the sky. And why shouldn’t they? America is a pretty fantastic concept, and despite some sloppy execution it […]