Day 591: A Difficult Film To Swallow

originally published August 13, 2013 Alright, I’m going to step right off the edge of the curb here and admit it: a couple days ago, I watched the seminal porno film, Deep Throat. Why did I do this? What could drive me to devote sixty-one minutes of my time to this piece of lurid – […]

Day 590: I’d Like To Call Our Lord And Savior To The Stand

originally published August 12, 2013 A few words about the great state of Tennessee before I begin. It’s a lovely state, full of history, and it features Nashville, one of the bedrock states of American music. I feel I need to preface with this, as Tennessee has taken a few hits in the media lately. […]

Day 589: Electopalooza 2003!

originally published August 11, 2013 Even though it costs the taxpayers a crap-ton of money, I still like the idea behind the recall election. When a person gets elected to office, the people who put him or her there really have no idea how well or how poorly they’ll do in the position. Sometimes our […]

Day 588: 15 Minutes Of Fame… And Counting

originally published August 10, 2013 I have made no secret about the fact that the Kardashians, the most unredeemably useless potholes along the seedy boulevard of our popular culture, will never be the focus of an article here. They serve no purpose, except to draw ratings away from people who actually work for a living […]

Day 587: Describing My Beer Using 35 Figures Of Speech

originally published August 9, 2013 This is a fantastic beer. No, I mean it. This is the kind of beer you write home about, so you can tell the people living there to set fire to the place, collect the insurance money, and spend it all on this particular brand of beer. This beer is […]

Day 586: Rockin’ Out To The Walkman Effect

originally published August 8, 2013 It’s not uncommon to look around while riding the bus and notice that everyone around you is staring vacantly into oblivion, plain white earbuds tethered to their heads like pod-zombies wired into the Matrix. I know – I’m one of them, although I prefer the comfy over-the-ear cans that drown […]

Day 585: The Unfathomable Sinking Of The MTS Oceanos

originally published August 7, 2013 Having never spent a moment aboard an actual cruise ship – unless watching untold hours of The Love Boat counts – I know very little about the experience. As a life-long neurotic, I would probably compile a mental list of safety precautions before buying my ticket, then run through each […]

Day 584: Packing A Punch For The Open Road

originally published August 6, 2013 Today’s article is brought to you by the open road. For the first time in the last 584 days, I’m dropping these syllables into the milky impermanent water of MS Word whilst rocketing along the highway, the Dead’s “Terrapin Station” on the radio, the Rocky Mountains’ immature cousins rubbing shoulders […]

Day 583: The Monarch Of Hollywood

originally published August 5, 2013 In the vast history of advertising, very few brainchildren have endured. Nobody cuddles with a stuffed Energizer Bunny anymore, and I’d be surprised if there’s a soul remaining who still gets mileage from their California Raisins album. And for an advertising campaign to become a protected national landmark, that almost […]

Day 582: Football’s Big Fumbles

originally published August 4, 2013 For those of us whose sports-blood surges through but the vein of American football, whose clicker-thumbs are prepped for their pre-season workouts in anticipation of their September Sunday cardio, today is a special day. This is the day our beloved sport pokes its thumbs through the cocoon of the off-season […]