Day 611: Scrolling Through Sputum – Worst TV Part 5

originally published September 2, 2013 As my television dependency shifts more and more from standardized broadcast schedules to the liberating realms of Netflix and Hulu and torrent dowloads, I find myself less and less interested in the annual fall offerings of fresh meat, filtered through tried-and-tested formulae. There was a time when a new slate […]

Day 610: Blasphemy & Interrobangs… ARRR!!!

originally published September 1, 2013 What greater gift can a month offer than the promise of a long weekend to kick it off? I’ve always been a fan of September, and not only because my birthday stands like a perpetual beacon near its end. This is the month of back to school, sure, but it’s […]

Day 609: At The Tone The Count Will Be 609,000 Words… BEEP!

originally published August 31, 2013 There was a moment in 1933 when it seemed that technology had finally found a way to bridge all peoples, to unite us under a singular cloak of shared information and otherworldly convenience. It was a glorious rebirth for the human race – and no, I’m not talking about the […]

Day 608: Who Knocked On Our Door First?

originally published August 30, 2013 Yesterday I marveled at the frantic scramble (or, ‘framble’) to be the first to fly across the Atlantic. It seems only right that I dial back the clock and look at the previous trans-ocean pioneers, those who packed their loved ones and a whole wack o’ pestilence onto rickety wooden […]

Day 607: The 3,660-Mile Race

originally published August 29, 2013 What’s the fun of owning a hotel if you can’t change history in some small but significant way? When Raymond Orteig bought the Lafayette Hotel on 4th Street in New York, he was pleased when it became a hangout spot for airmen after World War I. Ray was an affable […]

Day 606: Dining Up North

originally published August 28, 2013 Despite my locale in the dark frozen tundra of Canada (whose climate has actually been tolerably pleasant throughout August), the majority of my readership is located south of the border. That’s okay, I’m descended from hearty American stock – my grandfather actually played stickball in the streets of Brooklyn during […]

Day 605: The Meaning(lessness) Of Dreams

originally published August 27, 2013 “The interpretation of dreams is the royal road to a knowledge of the unconscious activities of the mind.” This quote beautifully sums up how easy it is to find quotes about dreams by using a search engine. Actually, you can learn a lot about interpreting your dreams on the internet, […]

Day 604: Lock Up Your Goodies Before You Empty Your Plate

originally published August 26, 2013 A few things have always kept me from being a master burglar: clumsy fingers, freakishly audible and inopportune stomach grumblings, as well as a sense of balance that best resembles a Barbapapa on PCP. Despite these shortcomings, I have always been fascinated by those who have approached the criminal arts […]

Day 603: FADE IN: INT. BOXING ARENA – DAY

originally published August 25, 2013 Given the relatively recent surge of interest in UFC and other grappling/kicking/semi-homoerotic-sweat-hugging mixed martial arts specials on pay-per-view, I suspect that the golden age of the golden gloves may have passed. I remember my dad pitching in with some friends to watch Mike Tyson fight Michael Spinks on pay-per-view – […]

Day 602: Veblens And Giffens And Rich People’s Phones

originally published August 24, 2013 I think it’s safe to say that I will probably never be fantastic with money. After five years of earning the mellifluous bounty of government dronesmanship, my savings account barely contains enough money to pay for the tumbleweeds that would best represent just how barren and empty it is. I […]