Day 751: Lights Out In Birmingham

originally published January 20, 2014 Today many of my American counterpart civil servants are enjoying the joyous meaty pulp of a long weekend. I don’t blame you; for many, the deep-freeze has passed and it’s once again tolerable to expose one’s scalp to the outdoor elements. But today serves a greater purpose than allowing the […]

Day 750: The Celebrity Strangeness Quiz

originally published January 19, 2014 While in the next room my wife is no doubt running the trumpeters through a quick rehearsal of the jazzed-up fanfare that will herald the massive party she is throwing in my honor, I’m going to flex my consonants and stretch my vowels for the final 250-day sprint to the […]

Day 749: The Manipulation Conundrum

originally published January 18, 2014 A few days ago I slaked my fingers through the questionable history of the television laugh track. While I have always been baffled that one studio audience’s instinctive responses to actual comedy might 1 have been slapped underneath decades-worth of other material, I had no idea there was one guy […]

Day 748: Court Is Now In Session – 1964 Edition

originally published January 17, 2014 You might not be able to tell by the weather, the Ouija or whatever earthly vibrations to which you tether your chakras every morning, but we are seventeen days into a rather significant anniversary. 1964 was one of those game-changing trips around the sun in western culture, when society found […]

Day 747: Holding Your Breath For Immortality

originally published January 16, 2014 We’re all looking for the answers. In this chemically-saturated culture of corruption and perpetual impurity, we have a seemingly unending array of potential branches with which we can hoist ourselves a little closer to salvation, to spiritual enlightenment, to… dare I say it?… immortality. So which do we grab? Which […]

Day 746: Punctuation – Not Just For Cartoon Speech-Bubble Swears

originally published January 15, 2014 Today I’m going to opt for a markedly insular approach and write about some of the tools I keep scattered about my proverbial writing desk. I’m not talking about my retread and tired metaphors, nor the antiquated pop culture references that pepper my daily prose (though those are just dyn-o-mite!). […]

Day 745: Mind Over Brain Matter

originally published January 14, 2014 It is more than a little discomforting to imagine the center of one’s universe of perception, that grey squishy head-gloop that defines for us our life, our world and our being, getting plopped onto a table and poked by scientists in search of some glimmer of truth within the think-meat. […]

Day 744: The Mothers Of All Sauces

originally published January 13, 2014 In traditional French haute-cuisine (which is defined as French food that is neither fries nor onion soup nor yellow bottled mustard), sauces are the most crucial part of the dish. If you think of your entrée as Star Wars, the sauce would be John Williams’ indelible score. French food without […]

Day 743: Make Way For Madman Muntz!

originally published January 12, 2014 While the world heaps its historical praise upon the Thomas Edisons, the Henry Fords, and the Giordi Lobzhanidzes (he invented the modern garlic press), we forget that for each titan of invention who helped to shape our twisted, wicked world, there are many who remain practically anonymous. I’m not talking […]

Day 742: Elephants Vs. The People

originally published January 11, 2014 Consider if you will the mighty elephant. With the possible exceptions of dolphins and William H. Macy, no creature in our great global bestiary is as universally beloved as the elephant. Perhaps we’re taken by the thunderous, loping grace that evokes the style and swagger of a gentle yet powerful […]