Day 771: On Tonight’s Show… History

originally published February 9, 2014 Once the collective click of a few million TV sets shutting off had resonated throughout North America in the shadowy hours of February 9, 1964, the pentimento of American culture as it existed before that day was almost invisible. This is the news blurb that kids – and I include […]

Day 770: The Summerless Summer

originally published February 8, 2014 This year the news has been splattered by alarming weather reports like a silent film soundstage wall after take thirteen of an epic pie fight. Much of the western world has been grappling with weather that we in Edmonton call ‘regular winter’. I’m not trying to minimize the unusual meteorological hip-check nature has […]

Day 769: Happy Birthday To Possibly Both Of You

originally published February 7, 2014 Every so often I like to write an article about math. This is not because I like math (I don’t) or because I unearth a specific gem of unique adrenaline when I reach the conclusion of a math problem (I experience no such thing). I write about math simply to […]

Day 768: Archimedes Spins The Wheel

originally published February 6, 2014 There are days when I sit at my desk, look at what I do (my tedious day job, not this particular knuckle-scrunchingly thrilling task) and the weight of my uninspiring career seems to drag down my insides like a kidney stone the size of a tennis shoe. I considered myself to be wildly innovative the […]

Day 767: The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (Or Is It?)

originally published February 5, 2014 It didn’t take me long to learn that I am not by any stretch of human kindness a good dancer. I can keep a solid beat and even coordinate all four of my limbs into various rhythmic dissections whilst sitting. But once my wife takes hold of my hand and […]

Day 766: My Anti-Kilo Kilograph

originally published February 4, 2014 As a young child, awash in homework that involved converting decameters to hectometers and other such metric mathery, I asked my father why the Americans (from whence he came) continue to make use of inches, feet, ounces, pounds, gallons, quarts and Fahrenheit when the system we use, where everything is neatly divisible by 100, […]

Day 765: Only 682 Days To Go…

originally published February 3, 2014 For those of you who are already sick of hearing Star Wars news, I’ve got bad news for you: that incessant buzz is only going to get louder over the next 22 months. Also, what the hell is wrong with you? It’s Star Wars! My inner 8-year-old, the one who was allowed to cut […]

Day 764: Happy Super Day!

originally published February 2, 2014 As you may have noticed by the disturbing lack of available Doritos at your local corner store, today is among the most revered and holy days in western culture. No, not the groundhog thing – around here that’s just a joke anyway. I live in a town where six more […]

Day 763: Life In The Slow Lane

originally published February 1, 2014 I’m going to type this one nice and slow. For as much as I yearn for the sweet, chewy nougat of the weekend’s potential liberation from routine and obligation, I feel that every letter of today’s prose should be savored, tasted, maybe given a little velvet pillow in the chamber of my […]

Day 762: Cuing Up The Fetid – Worst Music Part 3

originally published January 31, 2014 It’s time once again to clear the room of friends, family and suspicious strangers by cranking up the worst of the worst. You know, the most urethra-scrapingly awful thing about these terrible songs is the fact that they have each achieved a grotesque level of popularity. People who toil for eight, […]