Day 791: Surviving Shabbat

originally published March 1, 2014 I think for a change of pace today I’m going to throw caution to the flatulent wind and boldly discuss religion. First of all, Shabbat Shalom to all my Jewish friends. Secondly, you’d better not be reading this before sundown, lest the wrath of the almighty rain down upon you, […]

Day 790: Pissing Away The Profits – Worst Business Decisions Part 1

originally published February 28, 2014 The secret to business success lies in making good decisions. I have no doubt that thousands of qualified individuals could offer monumentally wiser business advice than this, but in that most general, inarguable, obvious-even-to-a-schmuck-like-me way, it all comes down to decisions. Some culture-shaping decisions were outright brilliant, like JVC and […]

Day 789: No Pain, No Game

originally published February 27, 2014 By their very nature, kids are insane. In grade school my friends and I magnified the potentially face-smushing violence of dodgeball into something we called murderball. In junior high, a number of us gave each other bear hugs to induce unconsciousness (though, to my credit, I knew well enough to […]

Day 788: Vintage Celluloid Boobery

originally published February 26, 2014 Whenever I’m assessing a question of morality, I like to assume the vantage point of an interplanetary visitor from an advanced race, dropping in to see how humanity stacks up to their alien equivalent. Don’t kill each other? I’m sure the little green dude agrees. Don’t pilfer one another’s wallets […]

Day 787: A Splatter Of Ketchup (Or Catsup)

originally published February 25, 2014 Of all the emails I receive, not counting those that pitch erectile magic or discount OxyKAUNTtiN, many implore me to tackle some of the most serious issues of our time in my articles. Sure, it’s fun to read about thought experiments or serial killers, but when am I going to […]

Day 786: The Pun Disease – When You Think A Seizure Is A Roman Emperor

originally published February 24, 2014 Did you hear the one about the kleptomaniac? His doctor told him to take something for it. How about the painter who was hospitalized for too many strokes? Or what about the lady with amnesia who had to re-learn how to walk up the stairs, step by step? These and […]

Day 785: Pledging Allegiance To The Desk

originally published February 23, 2014 After two days of stirring up controversy – first over my disdain for the institution of Scientology and then for my vocal indifference to the Who’s The Boss theme song – I thought I’d lay low today, and tackle a topic that should be relatively devoid of hot-buttonness, despite its […]

Day 784: Show Me That Smile Again

originally published February 22, 2014 Lately I have found myself falling back in love with All In The Family. The jokes are still funny, the characters still compelling, and it’s the only show from the 70’s that can still be called ‘edgy’ by today’s standards. I wanted to do a piece about the show, but […]

Day 783: On The Attack – Scientology Puts On Its Ugly Face

originally published February 21, 2014 Not being particularly fond of organized religion, I nevertheless try to approach such topics with tact and compassion. So long as you’re not trying to bomb me, regulate my sex life or tell me how much bacon I’m allowed to cram into my eat-hole, I won’t attack your beliefs. But […]

Day 782: The Mother Of Civil Rights

originally published February 20, 2014 History – even that special brand of history that today seems unflinchingly common-sense and righteous – is more deeply mired with confused and distorted perspective than a grease-trap full of one-eyed ants. We reflect on our civil rights champions with quiet applause and a brow-full of scorn for “those other […]